so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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