Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
