I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
