Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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