There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
She announced her abortion via fbk
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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