i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
