Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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