I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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