we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
The ass gains better be worth it
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
