i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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