I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
