Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
