i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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