Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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