At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
