Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
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