She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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