Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize