im having a threesome with these popsicles
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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