My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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