We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
