You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
