Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize