guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
