I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
