I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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