After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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