its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i was born a porn star she said
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
