I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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