I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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