i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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