I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
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Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
It's never too late to be topless.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
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I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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