Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
