Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
