I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
