I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
