I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
