Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

I pooped in a mop bucket.

(1-512): View more from Texas

WTF???

(512): View more from Texas

Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that

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(443): View more from Maryland

apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.

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(818): View more from California

dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?

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(805): View more from California

You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.

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(248): View more from Michigan

He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.

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(618): View more from Illinois

Your normalization of crazy is frightening.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.

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