What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Randomize
