if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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