I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize
