a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
