pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
