The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
