please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
should my penis look like a turkey
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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