Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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