Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
