This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
