Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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