she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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