woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
