Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
The adults are the big ones right?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
