why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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