i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
