Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
