I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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