Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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