im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
