Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
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