Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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